Winter 2022

Let’s talk about winter self-care. Everyone has their own definition of what self-care is. In pop culture it’s often associated with eating chocolate in a bubble bath with essential oils. This may be self-care for some percentage of the population, but definitely is not everyone’s cup of tea.

I see self-care as being something closer to self-awareness and self-respect. Self-care is not a rigid activity or thing. It is a multi-step process that involves slowing down enough to pay attention, to tune in, and see what you need in a given situation. Taking care of your needs ultimately leads to a higher sense of well being and contentment. Ultimately when we set out to take care of ourselves instead of expecting others to do it for us, it starts with our relationship to ourselves.

Trauma, or old patterning of putting other’s needs before our own might interrupt access to self-care, and this might be the first step you need to take. Try something right now, wherever you are, check in with yourself when you say the words self-care, does anything automatic come up? Sometimes people have an immediate response such as “I don’t have time for that” or “that seems selfish” or “I don’t deserve that”. If this is the case, see if you can soften your heart a little and realize that everyone deserves to be taken care of, to be listened to, and to have their needs respected. And for now, you might be the only one listening to you. Once you start to listen to yourself, making the changes that lead to caring for the self and advocating for your needs, other people around you are going to see it as well. Give this as a little gift to yourself: permission to care about your well being enough to do something about it.

Next step is to take a little time, perhaps at the end of the day or the beginning of the day, and think about what it is that felt like “too much” or is overwhelming, or just plain doesn’t feel good. This is the first indication that this area of your life might need to you practice a little more self-care around it. What would help ease this situation that felt beyond your capacity, or caused you discomfort? Sometimes there isn’t anything you can do about it, and it’s just a challenging situation. If that is the case, pretty basic self-care can help ease stressful situations, such as: taking your time, slowing things down, asking for clarity, drinking extra water, getting enough sleep, making sure you are eating, communication, using activities to decrease stress such as exercise or having fun. If it is a situation you do have control over, remember that sometimes self-care is hard work, such as setting boundaries, making a budget, cleaning out the fridge. These things may not feel fun or enjoyable in the moment, but will add to a sense of ease, peace and well-being in the future and are in that way caring for the self.

Once you have taken some time to listen and have clarity about the things you might need to change or adjust; check in with yourself about resources, energy, time commitment, physical and mental ability to make the changes you desire. This is the step where you have to be realistic with yourself and also set goals to work towards making some of those changes you might want to see in your life. Yet another aspect of self-care!

After you have set your goals, or figured out some of the changes you might be able to make with a small amount of effort, take some initial steps in the process today. Then make a commitment to yourself to maintain them, and to continue to re-evaluate as needed. Self-care is often not a one time thing, but a commitment to continue to make choices that support yourself every day.

What does this have to do with winter you ask? Winter is often a time when many people feel “drained”. Lack of light in the northern hemisphere, less fresh food in our diet, feeling sleepier and lower energy levels in general. And let’s not forget the common feeling of the pressure and challenges of some of the winter holidays; that can leave many people feeling like they want to just hide in their bed until spring time. Winter is the perfect time to look at and address the areas of our lives that just don’t feel good, and to make some small steps towards easing the discomfort. This is often why people feel drawn to set new years resolutions, because we are naturally drawn inward to take stock of ourselves during the winter months. So pay attention, listen a little more, use this time as a tune up so that you can offer yourself a little more self-care, and to make some changes that are really based on what you need in your life.

Cheers,

K